What our sons see....

I am the mom of three little Indians….actually, they aren’t so little anymore.  I have two happy girls with one energetic boy sandwiched between them.  Raising a boy is no easy task although I’ve heard some moms think that they are easier then girls.  My mental hat goes off to ANY mom who has more than one boy.  Boy’s issues are so very different than girl’s issues and as my son grows older and my gaze sweeps over our culture, I am becoming increasingly aware of what I need to teach him in the realm of modesty. 

Modesty is not just a women’s issue.  No matter how much we blog about it and no matter how many modest clothes we buy, let’s face it, our boys are going to need to adapt some visual survival skills in this world.  There are so many snares and traps that our young sons are going to be tempted by and really, they ARE going to see things no matter how hard we try to protect them.

My little guy, Jacob, is the happiest little man.  He has a huge sunny smile and large heavily lashed brown eyes. He is so full of life and vitality that there are times that my mother’s heart just aches b/c I know what he is going to eventually face as he grows into young adulthood. 

My husband and I have begun preparing him with tips and tools that he’s going to need to employ when he becomes the man of honor that God desires him to be.  Dialogue about modesty, modest women and how a real man averts his gaze when an immodest situation presents itself has become commonplace in our household.  When we pass the magazine section in the grocery store, I encourage all of my kids to avert their eyes b/c viewing women in various states of undress damages both developing girlhoods' self-image and developing boyhoods' view and respect of women.

I desire my son to hold women in high esteem.  I do not want him to view a woman as a visual object, simply there to gratify his lust on the glossy pages of a magazine.  I know that many might disagree with this thinking and argue that there’s no harm in looking, but there is harm….great harm. 

Every journey starts with one step and I firmly believe that future lust, infidelity, pornographic addictions and violence start with a look.  It begins with a young, impressionable mind, allowed to view images that aren’t real, images that rapidly chip away at the dignity of women and the respect that is due them.

No, that is not what I want for my son.  While I cannot protect him from it all, I can give him the tools, the warnings and the instruction to help him stand strong in the face of extreme temptation.  I want him to know the rich fullness of the love and intimacy of his future wife.  I want him to value and treasure her and not have his mind cluttered with the ridiculous images that our culture is so fond ingesting. 

For him to value a woman, he must follow his father’s example and learn to avert his eyes, change the channel, throw away the magazines and choose integrity.

Instruct your sons in the way they should go.  His future depends on it, his future spouse depends on it, and his future mental health depends on it.

Teach him.